Homesick At Spacecamp

It is currently 4:18 am. You may think to yourself, “What on Earth could be keeping you up so late?” And if so, you should really get a new hobby. Certain things have been force ably keeping my normally relaxed self restless.

It could be that tax season has started which inevitably brings out the worst in just about everyone. For some people getting every last penny they think they are entitled to back instead of just enjoying what they have and spending it wisely. Others just want to get them done and over with.

It might be my new cat that decides that she needs to wake me at all hours of the day when I’m trying to get that extra 4 minutes of sleep before work. While also dragging into my room the latest socks and underwear she has stolen from my female roommate to give to me like some sort of present.

You might also want to throw in that my sister somehow thinks that everyone is out to get her when really we are just trying to prevent her from going down the same road that I went down. Add in the fact that since she is a girl she can get into certain situations that I, as a guy, cannot. Mix in a little emotion, low self esteem, loving but inept parenting, and a flawed social system that allows you to blame any and everything but yourself, and you are just one step away from failure. Shake and serve chilled.

It could also be the fact that a little over a month ago I had to try my best not to crumble at the sight of my best friend moving away. Leaving me with a weakened support structure that I had meticulously built over these past few years so that I wouldn’t falter or stumble upon impact. Maybe I sit here asking myself why, that every time I open up to someone and give of myself, they can’t stay. Asking myself what in the hell did I ever do to earn this disaster. Thinking that I did something wrong. Wondering why it is that I can’t sustain or fill this emotional void. Don’t think these are hasty and harshly spoken words. I never once blamed her for doing this.

Or maybe I’m just bored…

Homesick At Spacecamp - Fallout Boy

Landing on a runway in Chicago and I’m grounding all my dreams
of ever really seeing California, because I know what’s in between
is something sensual in such non-conventional ways.
Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can’t (say).

Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can’t say.
(Tonight I’m writing you) a million miles away

Tonight is all about “We miss you” (We miss you) “We miss you” (We miss you)
Tonight is all about “We miss you”

And I can’t forget your style or your cynicism,
somehow it was like you were the first to listen to everything we said.
My smile’s an open wound without you…and my hands are tied to pages inked to bring you back.

Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can’t say.
(Tonight I’m writing you) a million miles away

Tonight is all about “We miss you” (We miss you) “We miss you” (We miss you)
Tonight is all about “We miss you now”

These friends are, new friends are golden [x3]
These friends are, new friends are…

Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can’t say.
Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can’t say.
Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can’t say.
These friends are, new friends are golden

You know who you are…